Weekends? Where's my FOOD???

The male non-porcine (who refers to himself as "daddy") normally feeds me at around 7am daily, at which time I also get a quick walk to the end of the driveway to collect the New York Times for the other non-porcine (female, refers to herself as "mommy").

Well, today, which is apparently Saturday and different to the rest of the days... my food was delayed by 3 hours!!! Daddy was having a lie-in while Mommy was pushing him out of bed to carry on with his morning duties. These duties include, most importantly, my morning nosh. Daddy did make up for his tardiness by giving me three spearmint treats in a large round pool (that's what the non-porcines called it; I have no idea what a pool is) filled with colourful balls the size of my head. I rooted for what seemed hours (the non-porcines claim the search took mere seconds) to find that food. It did taste delish. Glad I took the time and effort to have a look in all those colourful balls.

Later in the morning, Mommy stuck some red substance under my mouth and said "try these strawberries! They taste yummy!" Well, I had a quick sniff and I wasn't going to have any of that. Bring on the regular chow, I say!

Carpenter Bees

It seems my non-porcines have a problem with carpenter bees. For those that don't know what these are, they are slightly larger than bumble bees and mostly black. They bore holes in wood and nest inside the bored timber. The holes are about the diameter of a finger and can do considerable damage to the wood.

There are nests both on my front porch and lower back deck. Considering the non-porcines keep dragging me outside when I'd rather be eating, and these things are big and buzzy, I think they need to get rid of them to make things safer for me.

Blogging ... what's that?

And more to the point; where's my food? I'm afraid that food is still my preoccupation. I do need to give myself a break on that point, however. I'm only seven weeks old and genetically predisposed to being a pig ..... because that what I am!

I'm an innocent wee piglet named (without my consent) Matilda. I've heard that I'll get to be around 50 pounds when I'm full grown, but at my current 5 pound mass I feel like I am duty bound to eat at least my body weight each day.

But enough about me. I need an avenue to talk about topics of great weight (I'm obsessed) and importance to a domestic pig and by extension to the non-porcine population at large. I have inherited two non-porcines who seem to delight in taking me for walks, showing me television (riddled with commercials), and finding other ways to delay my next meal. They even like to place food inside these infuriating plastic bottles. What they don't seem to realise is that there are many holes in the bottle - and all I have to do is push the damn thing around my enclosure to get the food out. Matilda 1 - Non-Porcine 0.