Sunday, March 21, 2010

same place, same time...just a year later

i know that writing a blog post once a year rather defeats the purpose, but i have been extra busy this winter keeping warm. i managed to keep a new coat on for a good long time, but when mummy asked about its condition, daddy had to spill the beans and tell her i once again chewed the thing right off. for the record, i believe that is coat #5 that i have destroyed. i did make use of the scraps, however and mummy runs across a bit from time to time whilst she's tidying my pigloo and envrions.

we've had quite a winter here. the green spiky baby daffodils are already reaching toward the intermittent sun, but the cold and snow (yes, snow!) are still fresh in my mind. we had two snows that were at least 6 inches deep. the first was on valentines weekend. sadly, mummy and daddy had plans to go to a show and dinner to celebrate, but the roads were thick with slush, ice and crazy drivers. they opted to stay home with the three little m's (me, maggie and millie.) naturally, we were thrilled they stayed home but i know they would have enjoyed a night on the town.

the next snow i had to manage without the coat as it had warmed a bit in between and that's when i, well, chewed the coat to bits. given the snow was at least a month ago, and i am still fit as a fiddle, i'd say i did beautifully. more time was spent in the pigloo, but it's warm and it's cozy, the perfect place to be when it's snowing outside. i've snouted the door opening on the pigloo so the big slider window is viewable and i can not only keep tabs on the weather, but time of day, when my sisters have joined the ground floor party and for possible intruders. maggie (my oldest sister) is the best intruder alert, with millie barking back-up. i tend to retreat to the pigloo as i don't care to be involved in any possible misunderstandings. safe and sound in the pigloo; my favorite feeling (as long as it also involves a snack!)

today it is dreary, grey and a bit rainy. i've also been hearing thunder. in fact, as i hoof this blog entry it's thundering! i don't care much for thunder but as long as the wind isn't too strong and there isn't much lightening, i can manage. the stormy thunder is the kind that frightens me...i hide in my pigloo for storms! the thunder going on right now is alone. there is no wind, it's overcast but light out and there isn't lightening. but now it's pissing down rain!! glad i am indoors!!

well, my loves, it is almost time for the evening victuals. i need to tidy up my dining area so my bowl will be easliy accessible by mummy or daddy, whomever might be doling out the food. between you and me, i prefer it when mummy feeds us as she always bounds down the stairs singing a song she wrote for me, "momma loves mathilda, yes she does..." and sings the verse over and over the whole time she's downstairs. if i manage to finish eating before my sisters have gone back upstairs, there is always the possibility the singing will continue with the added advantage of a belly rub and back scratch. i don't need to tell any of you how happy all that makes this porcine. i love it!

and speaking of love...i think my food is about to be served! now that the air is warming, i will try to remember that my hooves are not just for walking, and that it would be good of me to post some things on the blog every now and again. so, i will keep the hooves trimmed, dry and ready for the keyboard. food first, though... always!

love to you all! xoxox *snort* *snort* *happy grunt*

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

*sniff* it's official.

through mommy's tears i could hear her tapping away on her laptop... she was posting this on craig's list: (pets)

at times, i believe this transitional time for me and my family is a trial for mommy. she is feeling very guilty about trying to find me a new home. little does she know that she has always done what is best for me, and this is no exception. i will always miss the family, but realize it is time for me to move on.

i was so excited that she included a "mathilda-cam" in the listing! that way, we can keep our collaboration going with the "viewed from the floor blog." we've always made a good team since my hooves grew too large to enter the posts; mommy has always been there for me, correcting my spelling, grammar and syntax. she praises me for being so smart, even though i am such a young wee porcine diva, at only four years old.

i wanted to share this photo of mommy, me and maggie. i am doing one of my favorite tricks, "good girl." it's one of my favorites, of course, because at the end i get a treat!! and you all know about my love of comestibles.

speaking of which, it's dinner time. i must be off, as i overheard daddy say there were some special goodies tonight in the form of cabbage, apples and strawberries! i am one lucky pig, and i deserve it. (does l'oreal make porcine shampoo and conditioner?)

Monday, March 30, 2009

the move to the uk is still a-hoof.

mommy is having quite a time trying to find a proper home for me. she has some strict requirements which is keeping the list of potential new homes very short. that said, i agree with her on all points. we will still be a family even when they go to england *sniff...grunt...sniff* and locating an appropriate new parent who is also willing to have the mathilda-cam is quite the chore. i've heard her making calls, writing emails, and asking friends and friends of friends.

it is clear that my family loves me a great deal and that our separation is going to be difficult for all five of us. i will miss them all dearly, but i know deep in my porcine heart that [even if the united states would allow me to leave the country] i wouldn't fare well on the trip across the pond. my last voyage in the air was to mommy and daddy, and it was nothing less than terrifying. let's just agree that pigs, and in particular this pig, do not like air travel. mommy said it was a very long flight, and that i wasn't allowed to sit with them anyway!!! maggie and millie have both agreed to be crated and sent over by a pet moving service, but i say NAY to that. so, finding me a new home is the best alternative. i can't even stand the sound of running water, so i think it's safe to assume i wouldn't enjoy a transatlantic flight.

i'd like to retrace my hoofs a bit. earlier in this post i mentioned that the united states would not allow me to leave the country. many of my friends have questioned me about this, and both mommy and i have done extensive research. it is quite true, the united states will not allow porcine exports, even if said porcine is as stunning as myself, and whose occupation is a pet, not livestock. anyhoof, the ironic part of this is that the uk WOULD allow me to enter! with all the mad cow and other animal issues, one would think i had my information back to front. alas, i do not.

none of this kerfuffle even matters when one looks at the big picture:

**family of five: 2 adult humans, 2 young canines, 1 porcine diva
**family decides to move to uk, cannot take porcine diva out of country
**family begins effort to find porcine diva new home
**porcine diva requirements for new home lengthy
**family interviews applicants, porcine diva finds all applicants boring and time wasting
**porcine diva bites one applicant, applicant blood flows freely (mommy TOLD him not to feed me raisins. it was his OWN fault.)
**family puts search for new home on hold while more appropriate applicant pool is determined

so that's me at the moment. oh god, mommy is crying again while entering this post. i will miss her dearly, and she me. but we mustn't let this get in the way of progress. mommy and daddy need to move, and i need to find a home.

new efforts begin again mid-april. i may be able to persuade mommy to post more prior to that date, but if not, adieu mon petites, and i shall return soon!

just in time! daddy is on his way downstairs with the newest installment of fresh carrots. i've been carrot-less for two days now, so it's about time! oooh i can't wait to crunch on my delectable orange carrots!! i must be off now, veggies are being proffered, with an additional promise of a song/belly rub to follow!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

something's ahoof...i can feel it.

well, i can hear the washer and dryer going, unvisited closets are being opened, and both maggie and millie are edgy. they know not what i know, that mommy and daddy are going to take a holiday. they just know something's different, and they don't like it.

well, in this case, i agree with my canines. they are going to england, where they plan to move. i am not pleased with this development at all, and i've made it no secret. to be fair though, mommy is absolutely gutted at the prospect of finding me a guardian. she is being ever so careful and is planning to set up a pig-mommy/daddy/maggie/millie cam, insure my new guardian will read letters and emails to me, and most importantly, play the "mommy loves mathilda" song whilst my beautiful belly is being rubbed. i trust the guardian will also be instructed to extend the playing time of the song should i continue to snort to the beat.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

i know, i know!

i am not the best blogger in the world. this i freely admit. i do have some barriers to daily blogging; the first being i can no longer use a human keyboard to hoof in my words (my hooves, while still quite feminine are a bit too large for the keys.) and, as far as i know, porcine keyboards are a bit thin on the ground. Second, i have to wait for mummy to take dictation and get my words on the blog. mummy doesn't mind, but she is very busy indeed. she keeps saying "no rest for the wicked!". i have no idea what that may mean, but she sounds like a broken record. she says i sound like a broken record when i talk about food! the nerve!

speaking of thin, (me? i've always been svelte!), my hair has almost completely blown out. i'm looking a bit bedraggled but the feel off the cool breeze on the skin is heavenly. i've been hearing rumblings that mummy and daddy are planning an inpromptu bath for me later this weekend. you, my dear friends, know that i am not a fan of running water or baths. not a fan! so when the time rolls around, you shall hear me squealing from the depths of my razorback lungs! that said, i always feel better after a quick bathing session. and i do enjoy the bit where i'm all soapy and daddy can't keep hold of me. that is indeed amusing. snort!

so, back to this nakedness of mine. i feel at this juncture it's quite appropriate that i shed the winter bristles and move into my summer look, which as you may have guessed, is au natural. i do look even more svelte (if i could possibly look any better than i already do-pffff!) without the bristles. and because i am such a fan of rooting, the clay colored soil does tend to make my white bristles less than glowing (not to mention what it does to my swiss army snout!) all part of being a busy porcine diva, i'm afraid. hazards of being moi. oh, the responsibilities of being a gorgeous and intelligent sentient being!

all of you know i adore the two dogs mummy and daddy got for me, but sometimes even the best piggy mama needs a break. daddy was a bit careless yesterday and left the top door open, giving my maggie and millie free run of the house. somewhat of a worry for daddy, but a very welcome break for me. i was able to enjoy my outside lair, chomp on the hay and root at will with no interference from my pets! i do love them, but they often mistake my rooting areas as hiding places for their bones and other bits and bobs. when this happens, they become deep pits. my puppies take their front legs and use their paws 'n' claws to dig, dig, dig. well, i don't dig. i root. and pigs that root are destined to fall into pits their pets dig. need i say "oops?" occasionally the pits become so deep that extracting myself is, well let's just say "less than graceful." they do have so much fun though, i don't dare rain on their bone parade.

and since it is the weekend, the girls are upstairs with mummy and daddy (i reckon mummy is way upstairs doing schoolwork) so i can once again enjoy the pig-lair as though it were my own private piggie-spa. ooooh! i'm going to have a quick dip in my baby pool whilst i snack upon fresh crudites. au revoir, mon petites!!

(and a big shout out and gigantic ups to mummy for helping out her porcine diva with her communiques!)

Thursday, March 27, 2008

first things first, mummy! food, THEN brushing.

one would think after the many years we've been together that mummy would know i need comestibles prior to any other activity. today she tried to brush my coat without offering me a single bite!! i let her chase me all over the yard and stayed long enough in one spot only to let her know that i did want my coat brushed, but had to move on so she would understand she had my priorities out of order.

she claimed there were no snickie snax to eat. i kept moving along. she'd catch me for a moment or two and got some coat brushing in. then, miraculously, all sorts of treats (organic, mind you!) appeared in proliferation inside my pigloo. as much as i wanted to get my coat brushed, i had to attend to the more urgent of scenarios: ingestible comestibles. so, as i ate the bits and pieces that were dotting the inner pigloo sanctum, i heard mummy in the distance say, "okay tilly-tippietoes, i'll come back later for the coat brush when you aren't so busy!" i may be mistaken, yet i sensed a sarcastic tone in her voice. i'm probably imagining things.

daddy came down later and told me that mummy had been to the dentist and she was in bed with the entire right side of her head sore. apparently he relayed this information to inform me that the coat brush would be postponed until mummy's head was better. she's not good at all with the dentist stuff, so i am not going to hold my porcine breath for a speedy return. i'll just think good thoughts for her and hope daddy has some carrots and other yummblies for me to eat. i truly don't mean to sound callous about mummy's dentist issues, but we all admit she is a bit of a lightweight. we forgive her though, she makes up for her shortcomings in other ways, like we all do.

my warm pigloo beckons for the night...and hopefully i will wake up to carrots and pig chow! sweet dreams, my lovelies!

Monday, March 24, 2008

the winter brings such itchy skin, but that's not all.

hello dear friends, i'm back! mummy spent a long time with me today brushing my skin and relieving the horrible itching that plagues me daily. mummy shared that she also has very dry skin, although she was very sympathetic of my plight. i think she realizes my situation is a bit more advanced.

anyhoo, it was great to spend time out in the spring sun trying to get treats away from my siblings. i must say, they were akin to wild beasties; i wasn't enjoying their agression one tiny bit. i did let my feelings be known by letting out a couple of well placed squeals but they were just relentless. thank goodness mummy knows when things are not even-steven; she made maggie and millie go to the bottom deck outside whilst she spent quality time with me, alone. of course we did my favourite trick many times (good girl, sit, stay) and i was rewarded with delicious carob sandwich cookies and other nice treats. of course mummy gave me the requisite carrots and a tomato that i know was meant for her sandwich. she's a good mummy.

so i have to let my fans all know that i have begun to root a hole the depth of which is becoming rather impressive. mummy and daddy were overheard a few days ago saying that i may reach china soon. i do have some issues with the rooting hole, however. first, i may have misjudged its location. it's bang in the middle of the route from the indoors to the straw laden yard i share with my canine sisters. so, there may be injuries, i don't know. nothing untoward has happened as yet, but as clever as i am, i cannot predict the future. second, maggie and millie seem to be under the impression that the rooting hole was excavated for their convenience. they have been buryiny (and retrieving) their bones at the bottom. perhaps i should have an informational session for them about the ins-and-outs of porcine rooting habits. they clearly don't understand, even with mummy and daddy tutoring them almost daily. one cannot compare the cerebral talents of a porcine with a canine. it's not fair to the canines, you see.

today was a good day for comestibles. i am hoping that watermelon rinds will soon be in abundance as their appearance coincides with warmer weather. mummy sometimes gets the scraps from whole foods or publix and i cannot even begin to explain how wonderful it is to feast on such delicacies. mummy told me that my watermelon rind habit is very much like her clementine orange habit; she can only satisfy it during a certain time of year. in fact, she said the clementine season was coming to an end earlier today. i feel bad for her, yet i know that the end of her season means that my rinds are on the way!!!

mummy said that she wrote to a woman who runs an organic farm out in the country who might be willing to let me stay with her and her family once mummy and daddy and my sisters move across the pond. i must say it would be heavenly to live on a farm, and even better with very nice people (mummy says they come very highly recommended by one of her friends, anne). plus, maybe they will allow me to have computer time to hoof out my blog so i can keep mummy and daddy apprised of my life as i know they will want to check in with me as much as they can. i know that i will want to hear from them as well, so i hope to get pictures and letters and emails and perhaps even mentions on their blogs. oh dear me, i am getting as misty as mummy was earlier today, i am just not handling the impending separation well at all. mummy was sobbing whilst brushing my coat earlier...if i could have cried with her, i would have. sometimes life throws you curves you don't expect.

i really must keep my spirits up. this new life could be a time for all of us to flourish! i might be living in a new place where i can have more than just canines as siblings, and i might be able to live where there are less snotty neighbors and designer dogs. i am crossing my hooves for the best possible outcome, and mummy and daddy promised to cross their fingers and toes and legs and arms and anything else that would assist in this transition.

so if you all will excuse me now, i see that mummy has peppered my pigloo with all manner of tiny treats which need immediate attention. i will get back to you all as soon as i am porcinely able.

remember, pigs do fly with very graceful wings!